What has his life turned into?

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Well drew,  He spends his weekends at home sitting next to me... watching my favorite TV shows and changing the bags in my "chuck it bucket" about 4-10 times on a bad day 1-3 on a good day. Googling how to remove bathroom sink pipes if I don’t make it to the trash can, shampooing floors and couches, blending up ice in our ninja because even water makes me vomit but sucking on snow doesn't... Picking up ANYTHING at the store I can suggest at any hour or the day knowing he may come home and offer it to a wife who may not eat it. Making my dinner 2-3 times because sometimes what goes down doesn't stay down longer than 2-3 minutes. Given me hourly medications, sets up breathing treatments, emergency trips to the pharmacy. All of our grocery shopping, He's carried me to bed, given me showers, washed my hair, does the laundry every week, and chanted time and time again "you're doing such a great job Capri, keep going," when I’m bent over in pain fighting tears.

We're at the middle of our pregnancy, 20 weeks in and our prayer is that all three of us are healthy enough to make it until December. (I’ll let you google the morbid facts about HG on your own). What I mean by that is that we can't all just equally win. If we make it through the night without waking Drew up to change a bag or bring us ice... That's a huge win for Drew ... Usually Once he makes it to work... We get sick and have to muster the energy to clean up and still make it to work.


If I win... I drink water all day, there isn’t any sign of dehydration or strain on my kidneys, I don't have to get an IV, I eat, not what I want but what I actually like... I sleep through the night and only wake up to use the bathroom and then, drift soundly back to sleep. I shop in preparation of our sweet girl's arrival this December... And while all of that sounds like a Disney movie... It's not an equal win because there is no guarantee life won’t change back to what it was at midnight and what usually happens is exactly that, it goes back to what it was... As Cinderella’s carriage turns into a pumpkin  and a part of me that isn't appreciative I feel like a failure.


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