18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

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Forgiving the adult male who allowed my best friend to ingest a cocktail of prescription medication in his presence, the day he died... as a matter of fact, I wrote him a letter a few years ago and never sent it... I'll leave his name out because i don't want this googleable. 

Mr. ______,
              (I speak for no one else besides myself :) I don’t hate you, as a matter of fact… though I despise what you did; I don’t know you well enough to even dislike you. You hurt me and many people I know and love, for that alone; I’ve found myself very angry at you.. I told one of my best friends at the time the day of your trial, never in my life have I been more afraid than the 4 minutes you sat next to me in that courtroom, and you didn’t even touch me. I hurt for his family, I see the pain they've gone through.. and I don't think his dad will ever be the same. All in all it’s been awhile, I’m done grudging this hostility towards you. I believe it was a stupid act of ignorance and though your maturity didn’t lead you to better decisions, the courthouse did; I do hope you get out when the time is right, I hope when you ask, you’re given the chance to redeem yourself. I hope god touches you with his word and you make something great out of your life, your son’s life, and become a better man. Jail shouldn’t hold anything back, and every day you’ve been there I hope you’re learning more and more. Keeping you locked up for 15 years won’t teach you any lessons, I know of rapists who’ve done shorter sentences… I don’t believe your actions were intentional. BUT you hurt me… and once again like everyone else in my life who’s done the same and "hurt me". I forgive you.
                                                                                                         Sincerely, Capri.

(I wrote that letter when I was 18, amazing... simply amazing, I find myself in awe of my intelligence from such a young age... I love my compassionate heart, it has come a long way from the black and cold ways I was in high school. a long long way. 
  

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